Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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