OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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