i was born a porn star she said
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just gargled with NyQuil
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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