I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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