that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm like, not good at living.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize