2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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