I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
