im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
