And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
