He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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