Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
