Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We got so high we made milksteak
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
