The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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