i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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