PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
