home. puking in laundry basket.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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