What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
