Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
