There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
