dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
