drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
