can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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