I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize