you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
