oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
vagina is talking i cant
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Houston, we have a squirter
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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