I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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