She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Randomize
