I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
