You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize