tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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