this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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