I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
