Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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