Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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