its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i just made my gag reflex go away.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
