apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
