hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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