My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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