Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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