Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
handjob tips. give me some.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
