have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
