we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize