Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
