I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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