You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
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Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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