I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
