we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
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I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
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In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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