Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
