I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
