so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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