You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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