Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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