just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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