Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
