Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Someone signed my nipple.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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