Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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