dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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