So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
