Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Randomize
